Pandemic

I feel oddly at peace in this pandemic. Really, this comes down largely to luck and privilege: my wife and kids keep me from feeling lonely, my wife and I have jobs we can do remotely, my son's daycare is tiny and so has remained open through most of the shutdowns. I live in a beautiful city in a house I love with people I love. But, if this pandemic had struck a year and a half earlier, it would have been considerably more awful, for me at least. 

This reminds me of how serious the situation is for so many, and that no matter how much I like to think my good fortune is largely of my own making, the reality is a lot is also dumb luck. If this pandemic had struck when my wife and I had both suddenly lost our jobs, times would have looked much more dire, and that wasn't so long ago. 

Still, aside from luck, I find this pandemic oddly comforting and I think I finally understand why. It feels like home, like my childhood. I grew up in a log cabin on a tiny island; I had never heard the term social distancing until this year, but I realize it perfectly describes the first 16 years of my life. I spent a long time chafing at the bonds of that island, so much it propelled me to move away from home a couple years earlier than most. And yet, I now find it deeply comforting that all we're allowed to do is stay home with hobbies and games and go for walks outdoors. For all my city-dwelling, apparently my upbringing is still deeply engrained. 

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